Weary

I have become safer in my random dreams than in reality. Nightmares, night terrors and dreams at least can fade to the back of my consciousness when I finally wake up. A panic attack can appear to be an unreasonable response to negative stimuli. An anxiety attack may also appear to be an unacceptable response…

My own personal lunar deity

The pinch in my arm tells me my blood pressure is back up to normal. My hands and feet are no longer of ice. Out of the corner of my eye, my full vein throbs in two places. A monthly, nine day eclipse, My anemia makes me faintly wonder: Can my life drain from me…

She who gives of herself

Dear boys, ex husband and boyfriend, You don't ask me why I'm having a hard time. In fact, you don't ask but you seem to expect I have habitually, pathologically provided  in spite of my weakening condition. She who gives of herself from girl to girlfriend, mother to wife, the perpetual caretaker and caregiver, is…

I think too much

Following a week long binge of life and mini mayhem, I decided that I needed to take a nap on Friday. Taking a nap is a dangerous thing for me because my brain never seems to shut down, or slow down even when I'm asleep. I have dreams, nightmares and night terrors sometimes all rolled…