Tapping on my face, a pinch
I rubbed whatever decided to wake me up
off my face.

Yesterday, a beetle
Day before a spider
that survived the heebie jeebies flail
that accompanies an arachnid in my bed.

Then it refused to leave,
I tried to escort it off my bed,
I made the effort to not kill it
to be a good human,
then I started thinking about mystery bites on my body
and dark spiderweb corners in my room.

That spider committed suicide in my bed.
I’m not good company for insects
yes, I know a spider is not an insect
and yet they seem to like being near me.

I kill them when I freak out and they are in my mouth
or in my eye or near my child
I put them in boxes after I am medicated and calm for the day
I use them in artwork. I could never design a more beautiful creature.
I cast them in plaster
I dip them in wax
trapped forever they smell wax and flowers

They get to live when they are outside
it is their right
I have no claim over their space
They pollinate my flowers
helping make life colorful and fruitful.

A spider in my house gets to live if it stays up in the corner
near the ceiling catching its own food.  We can coexist.

http://www.explorit.org/science/spider.html

That link just caused my panic attack of the morning.
Damn, I so wanted to be in control of my moods this morning
Foiled again.
Skin crawling
I need an antihistamine
some water
someone to stop the hyperventilating
a person to hold me while I scream in my head.

I am sane,
just a little skittish
when things scare me.
It’s time for me to don the suit.
Supermom must rise to the occasion
to greet the team to fight for truth justice and an American education
Wait, do I really want that?

My bear walked in and asked me how was I doing
I hugged him and he didn’t let me go.

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4 thoughts on “A pinch

  1. I can relate to “heebie jeebies flail.” I was sitting on the couch once with my daughter and a spider crawled down my shoulder. I jumped up and started flailing about in some kind of seizure-like spasm. I hate spiders so, just thinking about them makes my skin crawl. Thank you for the warning about the link. I do not want a panic attack today 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have a lifetime of flail incidents involving spiders as well as bees. I once had a bee cuddle up a bit too close in my dreadlocks. I lost it. There’s no describing the dance, “getitoffofme, getitoffofme,getitoffofme, plus the seizure. It was a drunk bee. I had the panic attack of a lifetime. We could make a blog just about terror heebie jeebies flail moments:)

      Liked by 1 person

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