Day 2. Step by Step, I’m wandering around exhausted

Hidden in plain sight
You know that feeling
you get when you’re
looking for something
for half an hour: keys,
purse, wallet, laptop computer.

You know you walked
by it fifteen times, but
you can’t see the forest
for the trees because your
toddler tormented you for
hours on end last night
because you fell asleep again
in the baby’s room on the floor
on a sleeping bag and now
you realize she can get out
by herself in the middle of
the night.

Oh Shit!

That morning “mommy… up” call
was as much of a ruse as
“puh, puh, puh, or signing please”
instead of saying “please”
that she will say for her brothers
in a heartbeat if they are holding
a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I’ve been faked out by a
twenty two month old.
Its a sad day when,
mommy is spun in circles by Girly,
just because she is punch drunk
with exhaustion from a night of
book torture and a videotape
of beaver building projects.

I’m going back to bed
where I promptly go to sleep
and dream of driving down
the road on top of my van that
drives straight into a lake
I wake up before I check
the clarity of the water.

If consciousness could end
when I go to sleep
I might get some down time.
I’m not taking my morning meds
until I have a real morning.
I watched my neighbor back his
truck into the driveway
across the street at six-oh-three a m.
In the dark with his headlights on
to attach his boat to the SUV.

Its gonna be a long day.

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