I suppose I should explain that I never write or speak to impress, but if the assignment is what it is, then I will definitely impress a memory upon this poor woman.
p.s. Assume that everything should be said without taking a breath to breathe.
“Well, hello, my name is Amanuensis, I’m about your age, I suppose, and I think if we weren’t trapped in this elevator together, we probably wouldn’t be speaking to each other right now. I know the look of sheer terror is creeping into your smile, but I’m sure it will dissipate after the doors slide open and I start saying, “MIND THE GAP!” “You may run, but you can never hide, from a person who can’t stand silence in a small room.”
“I suggest you avoid elevators from now on. I can hear you now, talking on your cell phone, ‘There I was, trapped with a giant, deathly thin “African-American” woman in the lift, she reminded me of a praying mantis, she was po-si-tively mental. She just would not stop talking. I can’t believe it she just spilled so much personal information that was so TMI.’
I suppose I could back up a bit and give you a taste of what I spoke to her about, but if you read my blog, it could have been any topic really.
Girlie, the boys,
very graphic
descriptions of labor,
delivery and recovery,
breastfeeding
rates of c-section in the US
and the general absence of
privacy in a maternity ward
until you declare to the
midwife that the “creature
is crawling out of me,”
during and in between
contractions. “What’s
wrong with this baby?”
“She’s just very strong?”
“Strong? I’ve had three
other kids with natural
delivery and none of them
tried to get up and walk
out on their own.”
“She’s tiring me out.
Can we be done soon,
this is hurting.”
“CONCENTRATE, I have my
fingers on her head, stop
screaming and just
push this child out.”
She stood there with her mouth open.
“Mind the gap!”
Amanuensis Sobriquet-Reverie 
Mind the gap. That’s funny! 🙂
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I couldn’t help it. Thank you! Ever ridden on a subway in England, they have that pre programmed voice so you don’t get your (you don’t wear heels-watch me dig this hole:) caught in the void between platform and train.) They say something in France like it too, but my brain won’t let it out.
Good morning, how are you?
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Not done much in europe excet for a three day layover in Zurich on the way to Zimbabwe. Good enough. Bout to run an erond then practice with the band after while
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I’ve never been to Zurich or Zimbabwe. Talked myself out of a South African trip alone. My anxiety went threw the roof. I like your monday plans. I’ve got to check the grapevine and think about staking. I’m thinking 7 foot sawhorse. My poor son hits his head on doorways.
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But you already knew it was a triple entendre? So there’s the answer of how I would respond if there was a man in the room. Trapped in an elevator of women? I just would never have gotten in. Run away, run away…
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Depend on the woman and the gap I reckon. 🙂
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Hey friend:)
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LMBO!!!! This has got to b my favorite answer so far to ANY of these challenges.
“Strong? I’ve had three
other kids with natural
delivery and none of them
tried to get up and walk
out on their own.”
I’m so glad I didn’t have a mouthful of coffee! Thank you for coming over and playing in the dirt with us. I mean sand. You’re a pro already with both knowing yourself and digging! {{{E}}}
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Warning, I throw sand, like today. Seriously, she moved through all the contractions. Not painless, not normal, not docile like the boys, she was a big moving alien creature that knew when it was time to go, but sit still and wait, hell no!
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Don’t you just wonder what she’s going to run right over in her life? LOL
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Cats, dogs, playmates, other people’s toes…
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This is great! What a fabulous elevator ride! 🙂
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It’s a good thing I don’t get out much. I’d be the terror of the neighborhood. 🙂 Thank you.
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