watching one of the many batman
movies and without warning
I found my self sobbing
loud, uncontrolled wake
up the household sobbing.
The fire in my back was exacerbated
by being on my stomach watching
a movie in bed, the perfect place
the wrong position. I couldn’t stop
the flow of tears and I could not stifle
the sounds to a whimper.
Chronic pain is a mystery.
Not really just a horrible horrible
fact of my life. Chronic: long lasting
and constantly recurring says the
Apple dictionary (that is my friend.)
I was left dumping my bag of pills
on the bed as I looked for the strongest
possible pain killer that should
have knocked me out cold in relief.
Today it did no such thing.
Today I took a muscle relaxant
A high dose of anti-depressant,
anti-anxiety, pain killer and
a muscle relaxant.
The combo pill cocktail worked
I started this blog at 9am and I
must have passed out at 9:30. It is now
12:24 and I feel like my back is
no longer on fire.
I’m taking a leave from my
teaching job, I feel like a
failure, but I have to be able to
take care of myself better,
gain some weight, mental stability
better emotional control…
I was out for the rest of the day until
5:45am. I woke up long enough to ride in
the car to pick up My Child (no, of course
I did not drive. Do you think I’m crazy?)
we got back home and everyone fell asleep.
I popped awake this morning at 5am what a surprise
(sarcasm) hardly any pain, but a little hunger.
That’s a good start.