If you could foresee one accomplishment in your future, what would you like it to be? from
Impromptu Promptlings https://promptlings.wordpress.com/2015/11/24/the-sandbox-writing-challenge-16-crystal-ball/

Iaminahole
inthedark
wishingfor
something
otherthan
thisbleak
darkfogIam
in.Nocutting
willsolveit
Nomedicine
seemstocure
it,doctors
seemtothink
itisajoke
Iamajoke
Imustbefaking
WhydoInotwant
tobelockedup
safeanddrugged
untilIcannot
feelthepain?

Reality is
painfulsometimes
mixed with joy
thedepressive
coctail has a
purposesothat
I can appreciate
lifeasitisvaried
bumpy jouncy up
whilemostlydown.

I can’t hope for
help from people
who studied my
condition through
a telescope, I am
an alien species,
a specimen to ex-
periment on. “Try
an anti-psychotic
to stabilize your
moods, don’t worry
about the side
effects, you’re
just paranoid
nothing bad could
happen from it.”

Something already
has happened but
since I’m speaking
from a place of
mental instability
I must have amnesia,
without any knowledge
of my past medical
and emotional abuse.

I must be delusional
too, hearing and
seeing things that
do not exist. I
must be possessed.

I need to be
self possessed
to advocate for
myself. I have to
learn to listen to
my gut instincts
with new medication
therapists and doctors.

I have to learn to
help myself, like
teaching myself a
new language without
falling off the edge
of a mood cliff.

I will accomplish
that in my future.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Digging myself out

Any thoughts on the above post are appreciated! Otherwise, I think I must be living under a rock.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s