Got up, still stuck

Last Saturday
Just don’t bother reading this. I’m whining, because my painkiller is not working. Eight paragraphs summed up into a three sentence summary. Oww!

Painkiller is supposed to kill the pain,
not cause sobbing and mind fuzz.
I called a “rubberband” a plastic bag and
“onions” eggs today and that was before the
double dose of white not red pills I’m
supposed to take at bedtime. It is 2 o’clock
in the afternoon and I’m reading in pain,
now writing in pain with my pelvis, hips
spine are in a revolt.

There must be a storm coming
or the temperature must be dropping
my back pelvis hips are clicking
like I’m a mannequin trying to walk
and the joints are clunking around.
Each pop has a very surreal twang
feeling with it. Like my tendons are slipping.

What a betrayal. I was getting used to
this as it was, now I’m not able to get up
and go outside. There must be some other
hormone distortion at play here.

Anyone have any thoughts about the subject
other than, “I need to go to a doctor?”
No, I don’t want more pills, or shots,
unless it is acupuncture, that might help
but they tend not to be open on Saturdays.

Girlie stow away

Okay, I get it. I cannot move around like I
used to. I cannot lift bags of leaves or drag
a small child in a tarp because I seem to have exceeded
my 30 pound limit for lift, drag, shoving things.
Though my greenhouse made it through the night.

I am a bad cold person, but I don’t want to move again
to a warmer climate state. I froze my ass off in
San Francisco. I’m going to have to figure out
some humidity issues. Is increased humidity better for
arthritis or should I dehumidify the room? I’m in
screaming pain, but crackling across the room to stand
in the shower seems like the worst idea ever.

I wonder what I have to do to get my inversion
table upstairs. Uh, oh, I bet I need to have my bed
flipped over, I can’t believe I forgot about that.
I have to get someone to help me clean my bedroom.
I’m still in pseudo box land and prone to
adhd laundry attempts. I know there is something
in the washer that needs to be dried. I need to stop
sleeping on the futon on the floor, I never made my
stupid bed frame and the bed rails are still outside.
Bribery? Only works on adults at the rate I pay.

This feels like back labor. NO-I’m not pregnant, but it STILL HURTS. I hear Girlie talking to her imaginary play guests, “bye-bye, bye-bye” I have my bear taking care of her today,
she ran him up and down the driveway then wore him out. You have to stand in the middle and watch her go back and forth.
For at least 30 minutes to an hour.

The Mayo Clinic tells me I need to avoid a negative attitude, focusing on the pain and depression is sometimes the result of long term pain. They did suggest heat therapy and more movement/exercise. And if I weren’t crackling like a bowl of Rice Crispies in milk I would be up and moving around a lot today. I have plants to tend to, seeds to nurture, layers of clothing to put on before attempting to leave my bedroom… a Nureyev documentary to finish watching I’m on part 4 of 6, I’m reading three different books at the moment and I have some projects I want to complete, if I could only get organized. Sigh. Talk on the phone, that usually helps me focus? Start seedling in the basement next to the drier? Fold my clothes? Do three loads of laundry? No lifting and bending today, that was yesterday. Want to see the greenhouse?

All the bags surrounding the greenhouse are filled with leaves.  I just have to open them up and add live compost to get them heated up, I may add some kitchen waste to help too.  The black bags are temporary. I need to create a plastic tube filled with the composting leaves so the monstrosity will be less ugly since it is in my front yard.

By the way, my high dose of painkiller was not the solution I needed for the day. It did not knock me or the pain out, I was able to walk around in pain for six hours before I fell asleep on the couch.

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