I’m not a clutz
but I look like one
recently I have been
falling a lot.
My culprit is my back
spasms that come out
of nowhere they are
triggered by movement
strain, walking, sitting
while sleeping or waking.
My favorite spasms
are the screaming spasms
that remind me of my
brother’s charlie horses
when he was a teenager.
Funny what rolls through
a mind when in pain.
The slow motion fall
on my side is interesting
followed by my view of feet
running toward me.
Stunned is how I feel
after watching the gray sky
as I fall backwards arms
akimbo onto the grass.
My back spasms notify
me that a fall
is imminent in 3-2-1
seconds then down.
I aim for grass, away
from furniture and sharp
objects. I let the bag boy
load my car, my pride is
gone. Parking lots falls
are never graceful,
though a cart can slow
the fall or accelerate it.
I have memories of ice skating
and roller blading out of control
until I slammed into solids. I use
the phrase “deer on skates” to
describe my lack of panache on
wheels unless it is a bicycle.
My sons are all strong
enough to pick me up when
I tumble, though it is not
a skill I had intended to teach.
Is it the damsel in distress
catch or the fireman’s carry?
The fireman’s carry is less gentle
but secure if I need to be
carried down a ladder
while unconscious, so far, I
have avoided the need for
being carried up or down a ladder.
I went back to my old studio
to pick up more of my metal
the ex was there to load with
the fork lift, My truck screams,
“Sanford and Son” as the load got
taller and taller. We were arguing
about straps when a stabbing pain
hit me between the shoulder blades
and flew up my neck. Muscle spasm
I backed up from the truck and off
the driveway and fell back into the grass.
I probably looked like a cartoon character
trying to fly, wingless bird not in flight.
ESR, boy #1 came over and asked if I was okay
“Uh-uh!” and asked how to pick me up. “dead lift?”
I said, “Uh-huh.” My ex said,”Who’s
going to drive the truck.” I probably
glared at him. He tried to pull me up
by my arms, ESR, said, “No, I’ve got her.”
He slid one arm under my limp legs
and put the other arm around my shoulders
and carried me to the passenger side
of the cab. Tears of pain streamed
down my face. This body has given up
though my mind thinks otherwise.