This Morning a Holiday Ode

This morning I found Opher and Edward,
two bloggers who made me smile today.
I’m searching for positives.
Desperately seeking positives

Yesterday was a day that
continued with decorating
and wrapping for that
holiday that is as much about
family as it is about
whether someone has a meltdown
at your house and whether that
person is me doing the
imitation of the every oily
forever fountain that I used to see
in stores in the early 1970’s at
JB Robinson Jewelers Store
maybe the name is wrong
I can’t remember but I do
remember them being in the
window and if you interrupted
the flow of oil with your finger
the rain lamp thingie took about
a minute to reset itself.

Golly, my age is showing again,
but I think it should by now.

The greenhouse, which is white,
survived the winds, got a face lift
and some accent lights for additional
heat and growth, cause we all know
its gonna snow at some point.

I had the Bear (who arrived unannounced
in the driveway) Well, my phone is off
so I’m kind of intentionally unreachable
so I cannot be tipped off the edge.

I have a boy-man with a phone in
residence since I’m not to be left
alone to my own devices, since I
tip over and twitch a lot.
I’m like a freighter without
enough payload in the hull.
Is that the right way to say it?

I should call my friend who is a
sailor and ask him for the right
way to phrase it. He will laugh
since I’m about as top heavy as a
sapling, and that might just make
his day. I think he might be one of
the last of my old friends who knew
me when-before-I decided that not
being a stone carvers wife was
a good thing.

Well, I can’t call the
man on a dead cell phone
until I check with the bank to see
what Santa gave me for Christmas.

Let’s see:
I have two front teeth

I’m not kissing Santa for any reason

I haven’t been good for goodness sake

I’ve got Rudolph the dog/deer statue in my front yard
Lit up with ecologically friendly battery powered
light sensitive bulbs, so his entire body glows

I’m trying to grow my own food, but so
far all I have is swiss chard and beets

If twelve drummers came to my house my neighbors
would think I’m even stranger and I’d know it was
a sick joke from my brother who’s a drummer

Eleven pipers piping, implies some type
of drug usage that I’m not typing about

Ten lords a-leaping, I don’t know anyone
with the last name of lord

Nine ladies dancing, must have been at
the party I missed last night cause
I was working on a white greenhouse

Eight maids a-milking, you need cows,
goats or post partum women for that

Seven swans a-swimming, in the Lake at this
time of year? They would have to be drunk geese

Six geese a-laying, see above

Five golden rings, well, I have one golden ring and
I plan to melt it down in honor of my divorce

Four calling birds,
I put a stop to that by getting a cat

Three French hens, they were eaten by the foxes
who were eaten by the coyotes

Two turtle doves, not very bright birds I have to say
I watched one get hit by a Fed Ex truck as it tried to cross the road.
Why did the Turtle dove cross the road?

And a partridge in a pear tree! I will not
kill a partridge to eat it in my neighbor’s pear tree.

Merry Christmas! I’ve got boys, a bear, Girlie, a male cat
in the house today, so life is full of testosterone, legos
and the infamous game of Magic that has taken over my
kitchen table. There are thousands of cards EVERYwhere.

I’m going outside to play in the dirt.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday and Woo Hoo (All my boys in one house.)

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