Off to Neurology I Go

Six am
I’m getting picked up
at
Nine am
to see my neurologist

I’m showered
not panicked yet
about to get medicated
and yet I can’t put the laptop down.

Nervous
yes, but I washed my hair did not
oil it
(but oiled myself instead
my skin is
shedding like my dog’s hair used to
like my hair is)
in case there is any talk of EEG’s

Washing my hair
is a bit like
creating an afro with stubs on it
This is what makes getting to my scalp
easy. If I scrub the untwisted hair
too hard then the stub falls off
It’s like shedding twisted wool carpet fibers

When my hair was healthy
Hell, when I was healthy
my hair would set off alarms
at the airport security checks
due to its density.
The machines showed
blocks of unknown squares in
my hair. Snatch, out of line,
off to the side for scrutiny.
It didn’t matter
if my hair was up or down
I got the entire body pat down
and ever annoying hair squeezing.

They showed me what the display showed them
odd squares about my head and or chest
if my locks were hanging loose.
They were doing their jobs and I
never wanted to miss my flights, plus
people were freaked out about exploding planes and
tall black women soldiers from where???
So they got to fondle my freakin’ hair.

It took me a while
to remember that I had an EEG
a long time ago when I had
chemically straightened hair
for my sleep study.

That’s how I learned about my
narcoleptic (that really is a word)
tendencies, the
study was covered but the
genetic testing to confirm
narcolepsy was fairly
okay (extremely) expensive
and not covered by my insurance.

I was diagnosed with bruxism,sleep phase dysphagia
sleep deprivation (I was teaching at two places,
ran a small business and had three small children,
while gardening and doing my metalwork on the side)
and possible narcolepsy because I could fall into
REM sleep in the first 2 minutes of sleep.

I used to be a night owl in college
I thrived on very little sleep
3-4 hours, but when I did sleep
I could sleep in the welding lab,
the metal shop, with people welding
hammering, most people got used to it
after the first couple of alarmed
“Is she dead,” comments.

Put the computer down.

Get up

Get Dressed

Find Medical Orders from two hospitals.
Okay, I found one.

I can look for the other.

Get Dressed

Get a hat
Okay, I found one, just spotted another in case I get a case of the uglies (You know, “I can’t wear that! It is way too ugly to wear that, find something else.”)

Eat breakfast

Take medicines

Get Dressed

Save Draft

Put the computer down…

Crap my hair is still wet
Crap its light out
I’m running out of time.
Deep breath
PANIC NOW-GET UP and lock yourself in the bathroom.

Put the computer down

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