Nemo who?
I looked for the tape in the house
in the basement, in the storage closet
in my bedroom, in all the closets and
it is as if it never existed.

Finding Nemo should be called
“Impetus to Clean House”
Whoever said it takes a year to find
everything after you move was a liar.

One year and I can’t even find a dead fish.
Okay, Nemo didn’t die, but if he were to
die, it would have passed the point of
smelling, so much that the cats don’t even

want to help me with the needle in the haystack search.
My house is a mess. I have more clothes than Lady Gaga.
The next person who tells me to give it all away can
purchase my next pair of 36″ inseam pants from Long Tall Sally.

Yeah, look it up. The clothes are ugly and second
mortgage your house expensive. I have developed the characteristics
of a well stretched balloon. Weight goes up, weight goes down.
I am a size 14-12-10-8. Breasts inflate and deflate more than

my car tires and now I have hips. WTF? Waist tire floaters?
Wing tipped fairies? Why tragedy falls? I asked for this.
This diversion was brought to you by the letters W and F,
the numbers 14 and 2 and the colors sanguine and iron oxide.

No fish were harmed during the writing of this blog,
though if I find that little clown fish or his father
I may have to bag them both and throw them in the
bedroom garbage can. No, I don’t believe all sewers

lead to the ocean in Sidney and just to insure that
I’m going to burn my garbage this month. Yeah, I’m having
a great day. I need to go dig myself a hole and lie
in it until I have less violent thoughts about harming fish.

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2 thoughts on “Better than crying

    1. Finding Nemo is one of the few kids movies I was able to stay conscious while the boys watched it when they were little. “Fish are friends, not food!” Say the sharks in an AA meeting. Making someone laugh means my post was not the gibberish I though it was when I wrote it. Girlie loves the movie , but calls it Meno. Thanks for the vote of confidence.

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