Well, there’s the urge to panic which
does nothing productive, chums the water
(for my shark acquaintances) wastes energy and
proves to yourself that you have finally “lost it”
Scream “AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THE BOAT IS SINKING!”
Feel better? You’re still sinking, you’re starting to
hyperventilate and need a drink of water. Surrounded
by water you cannot drink. Drifting in the thirsty sea.
How aware are you of your surroundings? You are in
a sinking boat. It is mid morning in the summer. Not
a cloud in the sky. Sharks occasionally pass by. See
any islands. Well, of course not. There’s a box in the boat.
Open the box. Find a blue wet suit and orange inflatable life jacket,
emergency flare, food, a word search puzzle book and a pencil.
Still thirsty, but not hungry, cold, wet or bored.
Things are looking up. Dig deeper in the box,
First aid kit and the box which is white styrofoam.
Get the box out of the boat, partial shelter in
case it gets really hot. Put on the wet suit and stow
your clothes, supplies and flare in your backpack
You do have a bag of some kind don’t you?
I have a child in my house who is so obstinate and
oppositional that his two year old sister mimics him,
yelling “No,no, no, no AHHHHHHHHHH!” Funny if it weren’t me.
I think my ship is sinking and I want to get off.
Sure, as a mother the best thing to do is to find help
support and more treatment. Can being an asshole be considered
a disease? Are there grants for this? Why is this all up to me to fix?
Ask my family for help you say. Gather my friends to rally around me.
This is where I roll my eyes and look into the distance and
breathe. “This is my life. I can’t control other people.”
I have to see the good things in the minutes that pass by.
He has great fluffy hair. If he lives to be 16, he will eventually
drive a car. He could become stable. Oh wait, I’m supposed
to not drift off into fantasy land. Maybe he could be a fashion
model or a hand model. He wants to be an athlete. Well, he’s athletic.
He’s popular in a “what could he do wrong next,” kind of way.
Still breathing here. Wondering if I could build a bunker under my
garage and share it with the chipmunks and snakes. I like snakes.
They don’t really want to be in your way. Pretty quiet creatures.
No way to avoid spiders in the bunker though. Enough of that.
Gotta make some phone calls. Ask for help again on the new and
exciting topic of pre-delinquent teens and the parents who
cringe near them.