It is Fitting

I blinked, the clock told me
I was ten minutes early
I did a double take
just to make sure

Usually, the clocks are wrong
or, I am ten minutes late
I had just enough time to
pay a bill over the phone

I had been procrastinating
about this call for ever

No time like the present, right?
I made the call, only to be put
on hold with a bad line and
a customer service rep who

couldn’t hear me. Waiting for
proof that the company had
encumbered my funds
the phone was silent…

I kept asking if she was there
“Hello? Hello? Will there be
a confirmation number?” Yes,
I’m processing your payment now

I waited another two minutes
Now, I’m two minutes late
Should I hang up so that I can be
close to on time with someone who
expects me to be 15 minutes late?

Thank you for your patience,
your payment has been processed.
Have a nice day -click.
No confirmation number

Sigh! I walk inside to see
a woman in the waiting room
no therapist in sight. Yes,
time for the weekly sanity check.

He’s usually sitting at the front desk
when I blow in the door expecting
scolding for being late. I sit and
take a breath. Wow, he’s running late

I notice the woman seated across the
room. Pleasant face, nice hair cut
about my age, 30 to 50 years old
Lady must be waiting for her person

I wonder, is her person an older man with
silver hair-father, a man of middle age-husband,
a teenage to young adult age-child?
None of my business, I retract my curiosity

She has a paperback, honest to God, book
I open my Kindle and feel cheated by the hard
plastic frame, I stroke the surface to get to the
next screen She, physically, turns a page

A lightbulb turns on. Ha-ha-ha!
I’m early alright. A whole day early
I laugh out loud and speak to the
co-waiter across the room

“I bet I’m here on the wrong day.”
She said, “I wondered because
there’s no other therapist in the office.”
It’s good to confirm that my thought process

Is rational. Today. We had a great
conversation, until we were interrupted
by her person and my therapist
He was not so surprised to see me

and offered me a tootsie roll
(Yeah, who comes up with candy names?
they should have their mouths washed out with soap
Maybe I should and stop blaming manufacturers.
‘Tootsie’ was the inventor’s daughter’s
nickname, see the history tab)

This afternoon will be a do over
Yesterday, was not a loss.
I made it to an appointment on time,
sat in an air conditioned room in peace

and read a book.
I couldn’t have planned a better outing
than that. My teams all want me to take
time for myself. It is so hard to think, “Me first.”

I’m getting there with “Baby Steps”
quoting a 1980’s movie called ‘What About Bob?’
with Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfus
That movie makes me feel very stable.

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