Drifting

I feel like I have fallen into the fog
it is more accurate to say the fog
has descended upon me

I can hear the waves lapping
upon the shore, I look down and
see grey mist not my feet
nor water

My relationship with pain is odd
as an ‘on the wagon’ cutter,
I associate it with trying to
not be depressed

As if I really have control over this

I can feel guilt about it
but my body chemistry has
always been a quarter low
Damn, not even just half empty

So, I found myself staring into nothing this morning
thinking about pain, numbness, fog and guilt

My psychiatrist increased my anti-depressant yesterday
I have to go back to see him in two weeks.
I guess if the pdoc is alarmed
I know that I’m not over reacting

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