I’m supposed to breathe deep
and not yell back at My Child,
a screaming oppositional defiant,
six foot three inch teenage boy
who cannot will not
complete his homework
or show proof that he
has completed the
work he submitted.

I fear that he has been
submitting empty
just to get
his phone back

Yes, I took his cellphone
to keep him on task

His cellphone is deactivated
but can be used on wi-fi

He sulks pouts stomps and
throws things when it gets taken

My mommy brain says, Hell no
when he asks for the 20th time
“Can I have my phone back I need it
to do my homework?”

Open another window on your laptop
“I can’t. It’s slow. I NEEEEEEEEEED IT.
Why can’t I have it back?”

You haven’t done what we agreed to this morning
with the therapist.
You do your work.
You log your hours.
You get your phone.

I also had the fun discussion
about the ethics of using a second
electronic device during a test so he
can “get the right answers”

Most people call that cheating

He says it’s my fault if he fails his classes
He accuses me of having a bad mood
and taking it out on him

The child is out of his mind
over a piece of equipment
that somehow became hard wired
and replaced his brain

Wouldn’t it be easier
to just write the
paragraph save it
edit it
submit it

No, it is easier
to verbally joust
with his mother

My mom calls it “running game”
She says, “He thinks he’s slick”

I call it manipulation

He’s used to lying to his father about homework
never having to double check his work and
never being held accountable
for his plagiarized homework

I have asked him to keep a notebook
if he doesn’t keep a notebook
he has the ability to keep
an electronic notebook
a picture notebook
any kind of notebook

I can find no proof
that the submitted assignments
contain content
My Child is still lying
but I’m damn tired



9 thoughts on “I’m supposed to pick my battles

  1. I’ve got two teens. Not oppositional-defiant, but manipulative and accustomed to having things their way, and while they both do ok for grades it’s not an easy road to figure out the best way to either encourage or prod them in the right direction. They can also be what I call “overly assertive” with us both and if they don’t want to do something it’s a battle of wills and I try to hide it but I’m tired. Good luck! And if it’s encouraging to know we’re not alone in the struggle, then know you’ve encouraged me. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. First, thank you! I’m glad to have company in this epic parenting struggle.

      Second, I can’t believe you are encouraged by my trial by fire parenting. I mean, thank you again, I must seem to know what I’m doing.

      I am coached by a team of seasoned professionals who tell me I will look back and laugh when my children bear offspring.

      My mind ran away with me on this topic, so I shortened my reply and wrote a post about it. Here: https://metalflowermaker.wordpress.com/2016/10/12/will-my-machiavellian-child-ever-grow-into-an-emotionally-mature-adult/

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I have a ten year old
    and have lost many a battle
    sometime I think
    She just wants my attention
    Which I give her
    But she’s such a sponge it’s never enough
    it’s like the weather very unpredictable
    As always Sheldon

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The capacity to absorb attention can feel endless. Maybe that means she is open to experiencing everything you have to offer. I wish adults were that open to receiving attention. I know you must enjoy your daughter. Like the weather, rain is sometimes followed the sunshine. Not sure I’m making sense. We like rain when it provides water for gardens, but dread it when it comes with high winds. Taking the good with the bad is a part of parenting.

      Thank you for your comment Sheldon:)


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