One here
One there
An affinity for her prose
enjoying his sentences
whimsy in her tone
mischief in his humor
the sensual sound of reason
While my life allows none.
(My friends are bloggers who know a small safe part of me)

Sometimes, I think I’ve connected
then I feel the distance
the darkness crowds me
like driving on a county route
during a downpour.
(Insulated from direct exposure, you cannot catch my disease)

The anxiety climbs and
my grip on the wheel tightens
as if a few degrees in one direction
or the other would cause me
to plunge into the river.

(That little thought on every bridge,
every day, corrodes my soul
My soul is a steel vessel
sitting in salt water
I never had time to grease it
before I fell in the brine.)

Where are the edge lines
is there a curve in the road
A city girl lost in rural country.

(I’m always included while I feel excluded.
A woman among men
A sculptor among painters
An older woman among younger
A human in nature who is an unnaturally worldly.)

On my road, most of the locals own
diesel American trucks, that rumble by.
I can set my watch by the thunderous
one like the freight train who
squeals it’s wheels each noon and night.

Lawn gone replaced by woods and flowers
My “artistic sensibility” is not welcome.
The cold blank stare I get makes me wonder
how long until I become a know entity.
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8 thoughts on “Journal Entry: Connections

    1. I haven’t lived in the neighborhood for 30 years, I’m not related to any of them and I’m not the same shade. I also don’t fit any stereotypes. It must be so confusing for them. 🙂 I’m trying to grow a sense of humor in addition to my garden. Thanks for replying back.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I knew you were ill, so I appreciate that you were able to take the time. I’m glad you have a diagnosis. Does that help with providing some relief? Cyber hugs are being aimed at the screen of my computer, hopefully they will arrive right away:)

        Liked by 1 person

  1. It does help some. At first they thought I had polymyalgia rheumatic. I am very thankful that first diagnoses was wrong because you go blind with that one. But I’m so impatient to get back on my feet. Lost my balance today bending over and ended up face-planted in my chair with my keister up in the air unable to push up with my arms or straighten my legs. Thank God Arn was home or I’d have been like that for hours! He just happened to take part of the day off today to help babysit the grandkids. My daughter seems to think I’m quite able to babysit four kids under seven despite what’s going on! (rolls eyes…)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know you love your grandchildren, but your daughter has got to come to terms with your health. That’s so not fair to you. I’m glad Arn was home. I’m having grumpy thoughts on your behalf. Wow, four little people, that’s like some kind of purgatory. I’m sure she feels the stress every day, but day care. I know it’s expensive, but some people like being locked in a room with 12 children under the age of five. HAH! Not me. Only, with assistants and a whole bunch of art supplies and a drop cloth. Big hugs coming your way from Ohio.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Purgatory! Yes!!! Exactly. Brandon has taken to calling them the Jun Horde from the movie Beastmaster. LOL
        Arn noticed yesterday that one of them was really quiet and came upstairs looking for him. We do NOT have a child-proof house and at the moment there are pills, etc. all over, so I have to be constantly vigilant which is such a stress in itself. Well I had put away everything I could think of, but somewhere Caleb (3) had found a bottle of Icy Hot that Arn puts on his knee. He had the cap off and was licking it!!! How does one deal with that? (rolls eyes…)

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Anything can be a danger to a three year old. Everything is a toy. Everything is fun. My Child liked to crush Christmas ornaments in his mouth, then stick out his tongue with the glass on it for me to pick out. He was very patient with me. He only did that two times before I put all the glass ornaments up near the top of the tree. Heart attack? Yes, all the time when the boys were little.

        Silent Sentinel hid facedown, silently in the ballpit, while we played hide and seek. Then once behind the dryer. We had to stop playing that game. We would tear the house apart looking for him because he would never realize that the game was over and he had won.

        Liked by 1 person

Any thoughts on the above post are appreciated! Otherwise, I think I must be living under a rock.

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