Waking up early
I wondered what my
birthday would bring?

A hummingbird sighting or
the female cardinal hunting
in the pine branches

I hovered in the living room
pacing five steps left
five steps right

Would an activity tracker
chart my steps when I’m
nervous and can’t sit still?

Claiming my heart rate
and releasing my blood pressure
these little devices

Capture a moment of deep REM sleep
Wake me precisely as needed
Show me the pattern.

I can’t see it
My schedule blows in the
wake of My Child’s latest monsoon.

Six years ago, My Eldest Surly Reverie
had mood swings like this
Walking on eggshells never helped.

I’m looking for something
I’m looking for me
Haven’t found her yet.

I thought I knew who I was
tethered to a life a business a world
All gone except the broken family.

Believe me it was broken
when we were together
I look up at the clouds

It keeps raining
bills, broken pipes,
sunken floors, clogged drains

I just want to be on this
journey with a partner
not another bystander
swept into the undertow.

Things Girlie does instead of taking a nap:

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3 thoughts on “A day

  1. E, I am so right there with you pacing out that long journey. Though my situations in life have been a cake walk compared to yours, there’s a misery that is so shared in your poem… I loved the last stanza. It says it all. And THAT I can say I have journeyed with you on.

    I just want to be on this
    journey with a partner
    not another bystander
    swept into the undertow.

    Hugs, girlfriend..{{{E}}} ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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