I bought a laptop battery two or three months ago
It sat while I waited for the right moment
to undo ten itty bitty star shaped screws and
open the back of the only device I can blog on

IMG_6814Insert photo of the smallest screws in the world

Dusty, I did not recognize the parts
that make words for me
except maybe the fan
the battery pack
and a nifty black circuit board

IMG_6404Insert photo of the inside of my computer

The last laptop battery I replaced
was in a separate compartment
hiding the motherboard
hard drive and cooling fans
from curious inspection

IMG_6816Insert photo of the inside of my old Mac laptop

After one trip to the store
to buy compressed air
It took a can to clean the
years of dust bunnies from
the black components.

IMG_6818Insert photo of a can of compressed air without advertising the name

I had purchased the wrong battery style
My computer is from early 2013 or late 2012
so the 15″ Mac Book Pro has a funky
multi-part battery that is glued
to the inner case below the keyboard

where the trackpad is located.IMG_6405

Insert photo of the wrong battery

When I received the correct
six part puzzle battery
I was excited to solve the
problem of the portable laptop
that must be plugged in.

IMG_6404Insert photo of the right battery

I watched multiple videos online
about the complexity of removing this
battery and the danger of puncture
explosion or fire.

A couple videos solved the
“batteries glued to the inside of my computer case” issue
with a piece of string and a
can of compressed air like
an old MacGyver episode.

Insert link to youtube video of MacGyver

I really believe that you can make
anything with duct tape
a piece of string and bubblegum
(ha ha ha)

The Silent Sentinel laughed out loud
when the first piece of string snapped
and got stuck under the first battery

Ok, so I needed a completely synthetic
string tough enough that it could cut into the skin of my fingers

and 3M adhesive tape strips that melted
into some type of cement holding the
batteries upside down in a heated compartment
for five years.

I needed button hole twist thread
that was in an undisclosed location in my house
Instead I found a roll of some tough
waxed synthetic string under and behind
some random piece of furniture.

IMG_6819Insert photo of spool of thread

The use of compressed air was the
piece of the puzzle that made
wrestling with the chemicals
on industrial adhesive easier.

You know how when you use compressed
air cans to clean your keyboard,
you have to stop because the can
temperature freezes and your fingers
start to stick to the cold metal
(reminiscent of that incident of
a tongue sticking to the flag pole
or metal piece of playground equipment?)

Well, if you keep spraying, that
cold air comes out of the can
through the nozzle
and between the
metal casing and the adhesive
that you have just frozen
as you pull with all your might
to pull that explosive battery
away from the metal case.

Repeat this five more times
using the aid of a thin butter knife
and this task takes twenty minutes.

Now I have my portable laptop back.
Gone are the days of searching for seats
in the library or McDonalds near an outlet
so I can type outside of the chaos of my life.

I just have to remember to post about the
happy accomplishments in life.


2 thoughts on “Dead batteries

  1. You’re amazing! Sounds exceptionally complicated to me.

    “A couple videos solved the
    “batteries glued to the inside of my computer case” issue
    with a piece of string and a
    can of compressed air like
    an old MacGyver episode.”

    I had to giggle at that one! 😀 You’re quite proficient at a lot of things, girlfriend!


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