I’ve been running non stop
since the last post
I’m the only driver in
a home of six
One has been in and out
of the hospital 50 miles away
three times since February
Another has track practice
every day after school and
has to be picked up from school.
Another has another school that he goes to
that I have to drive him to and from
Another has no license until
he can find a job and
pay off his fines
and get insurance
Plus Girlie’s appointments
My appointments and the boys
appointments come to the house
Therapists do make house calls!
We had a crisis on top of a continued crisis
The crisis included one adult getting out
of the car in the middle of the trip on the
side of the highway
It was a minor thing
that became a major thing
If you view the points of view
I can see that he thought he was the victim
though he started the whole fiasco
The music was playing loud
He said something to
two passengers whose backs were turned
from him then got out of the car
When someone walks away from you
let them go
My Eldest Surly Reverie
found out the hard way
He tried to get My Ex Bear’s attention
he pulled on his hoodie as he was walking away
They were going to be stranded
on the side of the on-ramp
leading up to the highway
AGAIN
by My Ex Bear
Calling his name
(and calling him other things as well)
he did not respond
he tugged again
My Ex Bear said he got choked
from behind
so he retaliated and put
MY CHILD IN A CHOKE HOLD
I’m glad I wasn’t there
So my son punched him in the head
Blood,
He let go
My Ex Bear walked back
up to the highway
walking west on the eastbound side
We called 911
filed police reports
in two counties
due to residency and
location of the incident
The highway patrol
looking for a man walking
along the highway with a bloody face
My Ex Bear arrived with
his father He was asked to
wait outside by the Sherriff
When questioned they gave
the same story including
their reasoning
My Eldest Surly Reverie
was on his way to pick up his brother
and My Bear was stopping him
from doing that.
My Ex Bear got out of the car
because he did not want to be
around nicotine.
Walked away from the car
then believed that he was
being choked from behind
then he got angry
and he doesn’t really clearly
remember what happened
Neither wanted to press charges
but we’re still waiting to hear
if the other County Sheriffs are
going to press charges
(He’s a smoker
who says he’s stopping
but continues to smoke
He refuses to wear a patch
and will not chew the gum
that will help him control his cravings)
The driver only had a temps license
and had to have a licensed driver in the car
My Bear stranded the driver
in a parking lot last month
So they were pretty freaked out
End result
My Ex Bear was asked to
spend the night with his father
and come back in the morning
He did not come back for three days
He brought his father
and demanded that my son
get a job and move out.
I asked him how he would feel
if I told him the same thing.
A light bulb turned on
In the presence of his father
he was not stuttering
mumbling or running from the room
I made him hear the facts
that he neglected to pay attention to
By getting out of the car
he was stranding TWO of my sons
I was home having panic attacks
so no driving for me
He didn’t realize that he had
stranded the driver in the parking
lot the month before.
By avoiding uncomfortable situations
he could remain ignorant of his actions
and their repercussions
I also asked him
how does one get out of a sleeper hold?
He had no answer.
I told him, that’s why he got punched in the head.
All that’s left is fallout
my choices are to move
which will destabilize me
become homeless or
move in with my mother or
leave my adult children or
see none of these are good options
So it all went to hell
Now, do I reseed the front yard with grass
or act like the world is a happy place
where birds chirp and snakes slither?
Did I mention my Ex stopped paying the mortgage?
Lordy, woman!!! Sending you a medal for all that! Why did the ex stop paying the rent? If it’s because of these confrontations with the boys and Bear, can you just ask Bear to leave?
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I don’t know why he stopped paying the mortgage. He says he doesn’t know. I think he was just tired of acting like an adult so he bought, junk, stuff, candy, toys instead of paying for the mortgage and car maintenance.
The house is in his name. My credit was destroyed by my divorce, so it wasn’t possible for me to be on it.
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I feel so dumb again. Relying on someone to help raise children.
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