Like dreams

My ideas come like dreams a project, an art piece a sculpture My pain rails against movement thoughts trapped in my head pull me down the well A bottomless well Watching the rope slip silently into the darkness I watch with no plan of escape the tether attached to my leg falls with the weight…

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Trying to be nice

This week is a doozy Physical therapy for my stabbing back pain A doctor willing to try to straighten my scoliosis by strengthening my uncooperative muscles okay, we'll see Meeting with the local juvenile court to establish my family team case management They came to the house yesterday to meet the kids There was no,…

Singing a high C, parts 1 2 +3

In my dream it was a high C reality told me that I was screaming in my sleep My Bear startled awake asking if I was okay, he kissed my shoulder and told me I was not singing I have these clusterpluck dreams I'm searching for something while doing something complicated Like starring as the…

Pink Slipped

Sure, I have my support team who deserts me when I need them I am told to surrender myself to the emergency ward to be detained until they decide what to do with me I am shamed for driving myself in for help why should I travel by ambulance when I have a car? I…

The pool is deep

Girlie runs to me and says "owside." She wants to play outside in the yard. I gather courage, presentable clothing two pairs of shoes and we venture into nature. She sees birds "burrd" flying in the sky "bye-bye" she waves. "dares wuun!" she points and yells as a buzzard swoops in circles looking for not…

I have problems with anti-psychotic medications

and mood stabilizers too. I just got out of the hospital again. This time the stay was unexpected because I could not control my thoughts. This too shall pass. My diagnosis changed again. This young enthousiastic and perceptive psychiatrist took me off the mood stabilizer and antipsychotic (latuda and lamictal) but added wellbutrin to my…

OHIO

My failure to perfOrm my civic duty was encumbered by my inability to do too many tHings in one day by the tIme my bear made it hOme from work I was exhausted, defeated and feeling run Over. I Had prepared to vote, drove to the polling location whIle neglecting tO bring my ID or…

Vivid Dreams

Everything was so realistic but wrong, the bathroom was in the wrong place the windows on the wrong sides of the cute little house and the furniture was not mine, neither were the plants. My actual former landlady and I had a minor argument about plant ownership. "What a cute pot," she pointed to the…

Erector Spinae Spasms

So, I wake up at 5am with muscle spasms. These spasms result in pain exquisite and tangible. Unlike my psuedoseizures, the cause is not all in my head. The fault is in the erector spinae that seem to have become sadistic BDSM participants who do not hear my safe words to stop causing me pain.…