So, I wake up at 5am with muscle spasms. These spasms result in pain exquisite and tangible. Unlike my psuedoseizures, the cause is not all in my head. The fault is in the erector spinae that seem to have become sadistic BDSM participants who do not hear my safe words to stop causing me pain.…
I can’t think straight
I'm off to mail a package, but I wanted to let you know I'm going to miss the post office by five minutes, just so you know. This is my pattern. I'm very tired on these new meds and there appears to be a waiting period where I get to pause for my body to…
Morning Angry
I woke up this morning angry enough to chew nails and spit bullets. Sounds kinda Marvel comicesque but my jaw was sore (from bruxism) when I woke up from an angry swearing dream, where I was arguing with demons from my past. (Not actual demons, just people I don't feel like naming anymore) This dream…
AHHHH!
Update I got one call back from a therapist just checking on me and I called my psychiatrist back about my sinking depression that may have been caused by my new Latuda or the decrease in Paxil. I think it was the decrease in Paxil. So, my Paxil went back up and I got to…
I resisted the diagnosis -Mental Diary
I denied it. My ex used to say it like he was some kind of specialist. He also would say it as a kind of accusation a curse word "Bi-polar" with his British accent. "Bi-polah" while he laughed at me in front of the kids. I used to tell him he would die alone, not…
Amanuensis Sobriquet-Reverie 