He surfaced

He surfaced in the wee hours of the next morning An anniversary of his first full mental collapse (Not counting the partial ones) Surprisingly, My children are just as unpredictable mood wise as I seem to be (unstable yet) functionally, disabled most of my days moving pots, mixing soil and planting seeds

Waiting for the other shoe

My eldest surly reverie has posted a cry for help a goodbye on instagram Why can't I find my boy? He's replying in letters not sentences like he's drunk on misery Depression, ADHD, anxiety, bipolar mood swings unchecked by a stabilizer because it makes his mornings groggy Better sluggish than struggling to stay alive, of…

I’ve been

Holding back the vitriol in hopes of gaining some perspective about the teenage animal My Child. Wild, elusive, inconsistant baffling, frustrating, instigating volatile, persecuted, open then closed Resistant to reality, rebellious struggling to find self losing self when it gets too comfortable self sabotaging, maturing in his immaturity This stage of adolesence would be better…

A tear

A tear falls and I find that it's pouring from my eyes and won't stop. Cathartic, sure but will it feel better soon? All I can do is work on the humans I have at home. Teach responsibility they don't see at school. Explain life from my point of view not as the view. I…

I take the good with the bad

I took a break from writing and the world fell in. Not really. All of us had some flu, then a virus, one case of upper respiratory infection and now I have head cold, 'cause life just wouldn't be fair without a winter cold. Girlie is happy and speaking more I walked into her room…

This Angry Child

Doesn't care about his court appearance this morning Refuses to worry that he could be taken from my home Tells me that I'm the only one who cares about it Really? What parent wouldn't care about the hand of law taking their child? Oh yeah, his father doesn't care My children have been taken from…

Once Again

Well, today was the second big day of the month that included court school, food, lawyers, anxiety and driving. On any other day, I would have driven myself and my children to the courthouse. I learned my lesson on the last trip. I am frail. There, I said it. I collapsed on the stairs last…

Speaking in Preambles

"Preamble noun we memorized the preamble to the Constitution: introduction, preface, prologue; foreword, prelude, front matter; informal intro, lead-in; formal exordium, proem, prolegomenon. Apple Dictionary Version 2.2.1 (143.1)" I have a pet peeve. Well, you know me by now. I've got many issues, to be honest. Ha ha My cup runneth over in that department.…

Now we wait

I feel like if you don't teach children about life when they are young, they learn the realities when they are adults. ESR is 18 now and his previous actions have finally caught up to him. I think karma is giving him a view of the sentence he never received for beating the crap out…