I’ve

I’ve Been trying to get up since 7. The little girl abandoned me for cartoons and I was left Finally alone, tears poured down my face. I thought about calling someone texting someone to tell them I feel wasted, used up and discarded like an old tissue. No one wants to receive that call: “Hi.…

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I used to have a written or verbal response to everything then I retreated from people and writing because no one wants to read about or talk to a depressed person experiencing the same crazy stuff year after year It's depressing Oops! The only way to handle stress is to have some healthy way to…

Spiraling

After a series of stressful events I'm spiraling down deeper no distractions are working my face is leaking again This is a success fifty out of thousands I need to plant beans and peas I'll have better luck I did have strawberries with Girlie though my cat assassins have been busy taking out the chipmunk…

Pure chaos

I've been running non stop since the last post I'm the only driver in a home of six One has been in and out of the hospital 50 miles away three times since February Another has track practice every day after school and has to be picked up from school. Another has another school that…

Making an effort

This relationship has stalled I want communication He wants __________ (well if he were speaking to me I would know) I can guess I have waited I have asked All answers are 'I don't know' I know that his actions provide a glaring answer of their own 'I don't want to I'm not ready to…

Difficult

Dear Readers, I guess you can tell I'm struggling to remain focused I'm pulled like Silly Putty in the hands of a toddler Not understanding the reality of sticky objects she puts me in her sock I'm spending time fending off emotional assaults attention seeking behavior sorting through my purse being accused of yelling and…

A Long Story

The Silent Sentinel said, "You've got really bad taste in men!" So that caught me off guard I had to count to ten Tell me something I don't know. Artists and their delusions of passion sex and living in the moment "If I could go back in time and never marry your father I would"…

The duality of perception in communication

Yesterday, I may have said Did you clean the kitty litter? But he heard You have never cleaned the kitty litter. Creating an argument with one participant The other blinks in confusion at another conversation that has gone astray again Obviously, I must be speaking some alien language translated by angry squirrels on a bad…

Gift 12/28/2016

Finally getting Girlie to go to sleep this morning was my gift from her. I'm sure she didn't plan it any more than the average three year old plans to be awake screaming through most of the night, but I'm taking this gift from my child as a cherished one. My fourth child has some…

I’m trying 3/18/2017

I'm trying to find more positives than negatives yet, the planets are askew and the wind's blowing my dress up in the air (try holding a toddler while that happens) He can't remember our conversations my words mean nothing requests result in nothing texts cause no reaction I am the poltergeist in my relationship. I…