Reinventing myself yet again I don't feel the numb static from last year while I watch my hands shake uncontrollably That dull ache of void screaming for attention Hysterical while sad or Sobbing with anxiety Shifting medications tweaking my body chemistry with a man doctor who barely spends five minutes with me each month. A…
I’ve
I’ve Been trying to get up since 7. The little girl abandoned me for cartoons and I was left Finally alone, tears poured down my face. I thought about calling someone texting someone to tell them I feel wasted, used up and discarded like an old tissue. No one wants to receive that call: “Hi.…
Well, December is Coming
In theory my blog looked idle empty devoid of life my reality was just as busy as ever I have reduced my stressors distanced myself from some of the crazy that follows me Physically I'm stronger my bifocals and anti depressant are too My anxiety in the evenings is pretty constant with crushing chest pain…
Opposites
I'm not so fond of people but I get lonely Yoga feels good but is more satisfying in a class I love singing but never want a solo Making art is what I do though more fulfilling when I teach I have tremendous fears and I still keep moving
Permission to forgive
I read a blog about forgiveness this is not about a person I perceive to have wronged me This is about creating a foundation for my perpetually absent self-esteem Perhaps I need a dowsing rod to find the correct location to dig for it Buried by years of clay and sand this small seed must…
A response, really depressing
The Sandbox Writing Challenge 2018 — Exercise 17 Posted by calensariel This week we’re going to get a little serious again. We all go through tough times in our lives. Some more so than others. Put your thinking caps on and sort through your experiences, then tell us… What is one of the worst emotional storms you’ve weathered in…
Difficult
Dear Readers, I guess you can tell I'm struggling to remain focused I'm pulled like Silly Putty in the hands of a toddler Not understanding the reality of sticky objects she puts me in her sock I'm spending time fending off emotional assaults attention seeking behavior sorting through my purse being accused of yelling and…
A Long Story
The Silent Sentinel said, "You've got really bad taste in men!" So that caught me off guard I had to count to ten Tell me something I don't know. Artists and their delusions of passion sex and living in the moment "If I could go back in time and never marry your father I would"…
Anonymous 10/13/2016
I used to be less anonymous fear of recrimination and persecution Ridiculous. My words will always be used against me There is nothing I can do to stop the stupidity. Words can always be used, twisted and thrown as weapons.
I can want
Sure, I can want my children to be brilliant and given accolades for their accomplishments. My reality is that I'm struggling to keep them all out of trouble. My Eldest Surly Reverie is floating just above the waves while treading water. Thank God he can swim. Thanking the third grade program that taught all the…
Amanuensis Sobriquet-Reverie 