3am, not 4am, not 5am

Placate the gods Really, cause I have nothing better to do. Obviously, I have pissed off the insomnia gods. I should build a temple in my front yard Set it alight and hope the gods notice before the local fire department. Next month, I will try building a mud tower to placate the angry- pain,…

What is the cost?

How much does a back cost? Can you quantify the value of irreplaceable parts? I asked My Bear, "How much is my back worth? (deleting a bunch of extraneous replies...) "Really, can you put a value on the replacement cost of my back?" "Do you know how much I had to pay for the truck,…

And yet

I never write in the evenings, and yet here I am, sitting on the couch wondering what has happened and whether I should get my Happy light out and turn it on. I forgot, it's that time of year when the sunlight reduces and I get SAD. I did go to the second acupuncture visit…

My Eldest Surly Reverie

So, he walked to his grandmother's house with his tail between his legs. Not really, he rolled his bike with most of his bags on his back with righteous indignation to her house livid that I had dared to push my will upon him. My seventeen year old man child seems to be cycling bi-polar.…

I’m really sorry

Tears are pouring down my face I wish I could go back in time and protect my boys I just didn't see that the light at the end of the tunnel was a train. I had hope for so long before I started to derail my car from the train The boys were along for…

Now I celebrate

Tofutti peanut butter chocolate syrup A sleeping, walking child she took four steps today I completed my sonnet I completed my collage I walked outside in the daytime and didn't have a panic attack. We buy our house tomorrow I will have a studio again I will have peace again I'm not running away, I'm…

Yesterday

I was having a great day or something and then the phone rang and I had to speak to an agency, (in the middle, my mother came over,) our big purchase loan coordinator, (get papers signed, scanned and emailed,) then deal with my ex. Dearie had a melt down and I followed suit soon after.…