I read a blog about forgiveness this is not about a person I perceive to have wronged me This is about creating a foundation for my perpetually absent self-esteem Perhaps I need a dowsing rod to find the correct location to dig for it Buried by years of clay and sand this small seed must…
Everyday Inspiration, Day Three: One-Word Inspiration
GUILT Deep seeded feelings of zero worth contribute to the black hole that opens under my feet when I stand up for myself Yes, the ground is going to swallow me whole Am I not here to serve to function for others never myself? Many of my past attempts ended in soul crushing debates…
So it takes how much abuse to develop self esteem?
I've been independent for how many years lurking in the shadows avoiding blows and running to be safe and feel secure looking for someone to hold my hand feeling like crap with the self esteem of a slug (who knows, they may be the self esteem powerhouses that glide on their own slime. Actually, lets…
3am, not 4am, not 5am
Placate the gods Really, cause I have nothing better to do. Obviously, I have pissed off the insomnia gods. I should build a temple in my front yard Set it alight and hope the gods notice before the local fire department. Next month, I will try building a mud tower to placate the angry- pain,…
This is what happened at the hospital, last Friday-Tuesday
This is the letter I will be emailing to the Hospital Inpatient Behavioral Health Satisfaction Survey. I am going to go through and remove the Doctor's names, so that you get a sense of the experience without having the real names of anyone involved. Me and my damn ethics. The names also do not correspond…
Secrets
(Anger alert) Disclaimer: This blog is less than friendly, be warned. I was thinking in my haphazard way about how I thought adults should communicate honestly, with dignity about their feelings without intentionally hurting the person they fell out of love with. Honesty and emotions don't mix well, you might say. Or, of course emotions can…
Not
"Not quite right in the head," Deanne, makes me think we are sun creatures who should hibernate with the bears, frogs, toads and other Spring/Summer creatures. The slowing down of the brain and the slowing down of the heart rate while slowing down the care for self makes me sure I should be a sloth…
A relative question turned into a long essay
My brother asked me once why I talked so much and had so many interests? Why not? He told me that he thought I was talking so much because I was so unhappy with my life and I did so many things to distract myself from my unhappiness. Now that is an interesting take on…
Yellow in the glass
She does like to sort colors of objects into containers. Take the joy in little things. During the day she called every pipe cleaner yellow yellow yellow yellow as she transferred them from glass to glass while pretending to drink from a pipe cleaner I wrote the colors of the pipe cleaners on the glasses…
Plopping in a chair, now in use
(By the way, the picture is supposed to be blurry, when you unload steel on less than six hours of sleep with a bad back, EVERYTHING IS BLURRY) I sat down with a plop on a wet office chair with a back that I use when gardening now. The outdoor lights were on but even…
Amanuensis Sobriquet-Reverie 