This relationship has stalled I want communication He wants __________ (well if he were speaking to me I would know) I can guess I have waited I have asked All answers are 'I don't know' I know that his actions provide a glaring answer of their own 'I don't want to I'm not ready to…
Everyday Inspiration, Day Three: One-Word Inspiration
GUILT Deep seeded feelings of zero worth contribute to the black hole that opens under my feet when I stand up for myself Yes, the ground is going to swallow me whole Am I not here to serve to function for others never myself? Many of my past attempts ended in soul crushing debates…
Trying to be nice
This week is a doozy Physical therapy for my stabbing back pain A doctor willing to try to straighten my scoliosis by strengthening my uncooperative muscles okay, we'll see Meeting with the local juvenile court to establish my family team case management They came to the house yesterday to meet the kids There was no,…
The Psychiatrist Shuffle
Getting a psychiatrist or therapist is like getting a new pair of shoes. Sometimes they fit in the store and you don't take them off and walk home on a cloud. Other times you think the fit is right in the store, then try them on when you get home and realize they only fit…
Pink Slipped
Sure, I have my support team who deserts me when I need them I am told to surrender myself to the emergency ward to be detained until they decide what to do with me I am shamed for driving myself in for help why should I travel by ambulance when I have a car? I…
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I have coping skills that make me hard to diagnose. I will use my anger toward the (!!($%%%$) who stole my credit card to pull me out of my creeping depression, yeah, righteous indignation and finger waving with a stomp of the foot to prove that I'm only half functional Son of a pickled frog…
IT bytes
Geek brain reared its ugly head and said By the power of Paxil, I can complete this task- must process information! Why now? Lizard brain asks can't we sleep and stay warm? NO!! We must copy the hard drives and do MAINTENANCE as we have in the past. All things must be duplicated to prevent…
That House (the-sandbox-writing-challenge-22)
https://promptlings.wordpress.com/2016/01/12/the-sandbox-writing-challenge-22-setting-free-the-captive-parts/ This week’s challenge gets you TWO questions for the price of one, but they are connected. Are you ready? Here goes… (The image of a house is on the page linked above) What part of YOU is locked inside this house? ` What can you do to free that part of yourself? That House My…
EEG Update -after the neurologist
I had the neurologist in stitches. He laughed out loud at the ridiculous things they said to me. I love this neurologist, soft spoken but blunt. A nurse walked me in to the small office to get my vitals before he came in. I've gained some weight. I'm back up to a reasonable skinny weight,…
So it takes how much abuse to develop self esteem?
I've been independent for how many years lurking in the shadows avoiding blows and running to be safe and feel secure looking for someone to hold my hand feeling like crap with the self esteem of a slug (who knows, they may be the self esteem powerhouses that glide on their own slime. Actually, lets…
Amanuensis Sobriquet-Reverie 