Friday night. I spoke to the parents that had my child and they were to drive him to my house at 11pm. I did not call my ex, because I have received a dictate to NEVER call the house after 9pm. I got a call at 1am from the parent that had my child. They had all fallen asleep, but the parent wanted to make sure I knew where he was. I appreciated that. My child was to be dropped off at my house the next morning early.
Saturday. I did receive a call from the ex asking if the child had arrived yet around noon. He wasn’t that worried about the child who was MIA (as far as he was concerned) all night long. I told him that I had spoken with the parents and they were to drop the child off at my house. He was annoyed that I didn’t report back to him. Last night, I told him the name of the child who he wanted to have a sleep over with the night before. He didn’t remember that. He could have driven to the house and picked the boy up or called, but he did NOTHING. I no longer defend myself or explain my actions when dealing with this man. Life is too short.
I waited and waited. By 2:40, I was late to a relative’s birthday party, but I wasn’t planning on leaving until said child arrived.
I received a call from my child letting me know that he was at his house. I asked him why he was there? He let me know that he had some things he needed to pick up from home. He talked the parent into dropping him off at his house so he could continue to do what he wanted. I asked him why he disobeyed me and went to someone’s house without permission. He said, I didn’t give him an answer when he asked if he could go. (Ah, the shifting reality of a child who has a role model who does the same things.) I told him that he behavior was unacceptable. Ex was in the background telling him to hurry up and get off the phone so he could drop the child off. “We’re on our way.” Click. He hung up on me.
I try to keep my anger in check. Its healthier. I don’t need the stress. I put my coat on and sat on the back stairs waiting for my child to arrive.
The Shared parenting agreement specifies that I am only obligated to wait 30 minutes for my children to arrive for their visitation. I have been more than generous, because I love my children, in spite of their flaws and I want to see them. Shared parenting does not mean equal time, it just means equal rights. I get my boys one evening every week and every other weekend (if the ex can find them.)
The car drove up and I walked to the car as my child got our of the car. I asked him, if he had everything packed, he said yes, I told him, “Good, now get back in the car.” I asked the ex to roll down the window. He yelled through the closed window, “What did I want.” I repeated, “Roll the window down.” (I was so proud of myself for not leaving a fist print in the hood of his SUV.) “This child is disobedient, delinquent and disrespectful, feel free to give him any punishment you like, but he can’t stay here.”
“Why didn’t you tell me before I drove over here?”
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I turned around and walked back into my tiny little safe house away from the idiocy.
The Ex never calls me to make arrangements ahead of time, he still arranges visits through the child, in violation of the Shared Parenting Agreement. Had he been on the phone, I could have had that conversation with him. However, I am not dealing with a normal human.
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