Dear Political Organizations,

Your emails are too frequent and every email is sent as if the world is truly coming to an end.  Your issues are so urgent that most of your subject lines are in all CAPS.  I really don’t think your organization is aware of how abrasive and aggressive your emails are.  My life has too much going on to receive these hysterical daily (sometimes hourly) emails. Please stop filling my email with this.

I sent this two weeks ago.  I am still being lambasted by hourly political emails.

Perhaps, the marketing department doesn’t understand that in computer etiquette, they are yelling.  They are yelling at me to get my attention.  They have my attention.

Maybe, it’s like the TV weatherman, who yells every time a storm is on the way.  “Batten down the hatches, Storm 2014, is on the way!  This could be the worst storm of the CENTURY, or my name’s not CRAZY EDDIE!” Like good sheep, everyone believes CRAZY EDDIE and stampedes to buy milk and water at the local stores.

Don’t most people have groceries in their homes already?  If the electricity goes out, does your water stop flowing out of the faucets? Won’t the milk spoil without electricity? Of course, the “storm of the century” blows down one tree in a field that won’t be discovered until two days after the fact.  (Did it make a sound? I forgot, you’re not in my head, so you need more information to clarify the leaps.  If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there, did it make a sound?)

My new response:

Please stop.  My life is more important than this. I’m not that political anyway. I hate your organization.  You are causing emotional distress. Your harassment has brought me to tears.  Remove me from ALL your email lists today.  Just in case you ignore me again like you did last time, I have set up a filter that puts all political emails in the trash.

I beg of you, stop this madness.  Are there crazy people out there that enjoy this kind of spamming to feel needed, wanted, stalked?  How did I get on all of these lists?  I made one donation and bought a bumper sticker.  I promise, I’ll remove my bumper sticker and your magnet and mail it back to you if it would make you stop filling my inbox. You have cried wolf one too many times.

Please remove me from your address book, contacts and friend list.  I would rather have friendly spam for products I’ll never buy than receive another email from your organization.

Any thoughts on the above post are appreciated! Otherwise, I think I must be living under a rock.

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